If I could have a blown up version of the word anorexia, and catapult it through the air, it would be at least 100 yards further away than where it was a month ago. Though the bulk in my arms from numerous rounds of Orange Theory have probably helped power that throw, I’m talking more along the lines of the greater distance that me and it have got going on at the moment. I’d like to think it’s long enough to be winning the ‘Anorexic Throw’ at the ED Olympics anyway.
I for one don’t believe it’s possible to categorise when you suddenly ‘have’anorexia or when you suddenly ‘lose’ anorexia. It’s not something you ‘achieve’, more something that you seem to nurture or dismiss. Everyone has the capability to suffer from it, no? Just those that end up struggling, are the ones that have nurtured it, instead of ignored it. There may be more reasoning as to why such people like myself chose to nurture it as opposed to someone else, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to establish my reasons for doing so.
So for 22 years, perhaps I have always had anorexia, I just only decided to nurture it in the last 2 years and am now just doing a lot better at trying to dismiss it again. Only because someone was at their lowest weight at a specific time, doesn’t mean that they were only suffering then. Yes, they may have been suffering the most at that time, but anorexia is a MIND set anyway, not a WEIGHT.
I have no idea to what my weight is now. I’d rather not know. Though every effort is going towards trying to prove to everyone at my current work experience that the light really could shine out of my bum, and I could potentially be a really great addition to the team, I really felt no guilt in turning down the body mass scales they asked me to review for their readers. I can’t afford to ruin my stream of positive weeks with said numbers on the scales. Plus these days, I seem to be this ever-growing mucho muscle man that can somehow manage to muster 5 press-ups now, so I’m sure a lot of my total mass gain could be attributed to this.
I almost don’t want to say ‘See ya’ because what on earth am I supposed to blog about now?!
(I definitely love writing now too much to stop, so you’ll still be receiving the spam for now)
Katie B.EATS 