A Slice of Life

This week another candle was added to the cake, only making such yearly task of blowing away the flame ever more difficult. I expected at 24 that I’d pass out from the extra air needed for the additional candle, as knocking on to almost a quarter of a century has surely got to take it out on the ageing lungs.

Okay, 24 is by far an age that I’m considering to be old and it at least now means I don’t have to live another year of being an unruly prime number until I’m 29. However, you can’t help but find yourself walking down epiphany lane when you realise, ‘Christ, what am I even doing with my life?’ when you add another candle to the birthday cake each year.

So while blowing out the candles, realising I am still living at home and now on my month’s notice from work, I could seriously begin to question what the hell my life choices have thus far been.

But I’m not. Because I don’t give a shit.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not disappointed I’ve not yet landed myself in my ‘dream job’ – if that even exists – and not been able to experience the rite of passage that is moving out from home, but when ever do plans actually go to plan in your 20s?

I wouldn’t say I’d planned to practically lose what feels like 2 years of my life because I decided ‘Hey, I know what would be a good idea? Let’s just stop eating and drive myself into anorexia’, because I obviously never saw such a horrible event happening.

I’d have gone down a complete different path to what I’m on now and I’m still very much a firm believer of the horrific cliché that ‘everything happens for a reason’. Preach. I’d have continued my Maths and Economics degree and what if I’d ended up as a… banker. God forbid.

So while I may be on the hunt for new opportunities and new experiences, I am not in the slightest bit worried.

The fact of the matter is, I had a birthday cake this year. A big, creamy, sugary, chocolate cake, smothered in mini eggs that had been baked by my mum. Since I’ve not had a birthday cake since I was 21, if that isn’t an achievement that I was able to eat a slice this year, then I don’t know what is.

It was so bloody good that even unemployment didn’t faze me.

1 Comment

  1. Happy (belated) birthday to you! I think there’s a certain point in our life (and perhaps your 20s is that age) where we reach a “milestone” as people expect it but deep down we just feel stuck and end up looking at ourselves like complete failures for not being the person we thought we would’ve already been by now, if that makes sense. But I think a part of being human is just making the most of what we have now (and yes, celebrating little achievements like a cake!) and as much as we pursue a better direction, we really shouldn’t be hard on ourselves for not being where we want to be yet.
    This was very personal and brave for you to share. I hope you have an excellent year ahead! (I’ve been slowly recovering from my eating disorder this year as well, so the parts you said about the cake kind of resonated with me in a way.)
    Have a nice week! xo

    Joanne | With Risa: A Lifestyle Blog


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